la flaca

So many things happening latly.

In Mexico.
My best friend is in love, that real-crazy-rush love, he met a girl 10 days ago and wants to be with her for ever, that’s suppose to be good, but…. He was my brother!! We are Jedis, Samurais, warriors, we are alone and alone we are together.. don’t get me wrong, is not like “my best friend’s wedding”, is more like the Star Wars scene where Anakin is burning in flames and Obi Wan (me) is screaming: YOU WERE MY BROOOTHEEER!!!!.

I have three friends going trough a divorce at the moment.

G is giving a conference and meeting Bill Clinton this week, sounds like professional success, I am proud.

In Chile.
My cousin Bricy got married a couple of weeks ago, I called her on her wedding day, we talked about everything: love, our childhood, her wedding dress, even things I’ve been scared to think about, she just brought the subject in such a natural and calm way (like the fear of seeing our parents getting older) it was amazing, I haven’t seen her in more than 15 years, and still we felt so connected, like a single soul dwelling in two bodies, I was holding my breath not to cry on the phone.

In France, Lili & Henry got married, I got drunk.
Bucharest: I asked R ‘how are you’, she said: ‘I go to work and come back home everyday, I share my flat with a stranger, I live in a place that I hate, I hate my life, oh and my father died of cancer on Oct 31st, that’s my life’.

In London:
Xavier broke up with Ph. N' with Mario, the three of us drawn his sorrow in tequila.

I got a rejection, another one, reads as follows: "We are still busy working on opportunities for you. To date the main barrier has been that you require sponsorship. Have you looked into applying for the Highly Skilled Migrant Visa?"
Of course I did..and turns out that I’m TOO OLD to apply!! Can we talk about something else please?

I can’t leave the country, if I do they might not let me in again.

People come, people leave...Tish is tired of London, going back to Australia.

So the other day I was having a drink on my own, on a bar, thinking about all of this, and a guy next to me said: ‘wow, you look more tired than me’ nice opening line dude.. so I started telling this stranger about JJ being in love and why that’s bad ‘cause we were Jedis, talking about Star Wars not only is extremely geek but a complete turn off, I don’t care, not on a flirting mood at the moment, so we talked about everything, as if we were close friends, I cursed Europe for being so annoying with work permits, I cursed people for being in love when I’m not and for stop being in love when they are a cool couple! at the end he gave me his card.. and this piece of paper holds what? I love that wanna-be heroes’ gesture “here’s my card, give me a call and maybe I can help” If you can’t help me know, why should you help later? When I call, we won’t be on a bar.

Going home I felt EMPTY, sad, impotent, specially for R, I want to help her, I wish I could give her my card with the key for happiness laying behind… then a I run into a homeless who said “can you help me”, and he looked more tired than I did, sure, I said. He wanted to get to Waterloo station where his brother was waiting for him, he was so close, 15 min walking, but was lost.. We talked for a while, he said he had been in the war with Iraq for 4 years, he said his brother was waiting for him.. he was lost, and I mean lost for real, lost in time, lost in the labyrinth of his soul, lost in a country that leaves it's heroes in the street, lost in a place where rules mean more than feelings.
I draw a map of how to get to Waterloo and gave it to him, he gave me a smashed flower he had in his pocket.

Getting home, I kept the flower.. trough away the business card and wrote a postcard to R.

Pic: rosa-wan-kenobi
Reality: my hangover look on a typical Sunday morning.